How Essential Oils and Emotions Work Together to Support Kids

If you’re navigating the emotional ups and downs of family life, especially with neurodivergent children and kids experiencing big emotions, essential oils offer natural support. In fact, understanding the connection between essential oils and emotions is an important key to helping your family find balance in daily life. As a mother of two boys who are autistic and have ADHD, I know, without a doubt, how challenging emotional regulation can be. With this in mind, let’s explore how to integrate essential oils into your child’s emotional toolkit to naturally support their well-being.

Why Emotional Well-Being is Key for Children

Emotional well-being is essential for children’s overall development and quality of life. For instance emotions shape how children view the world, influence their behaviors, and impact their ability to cope with challenges. Positive emotional health helps children build resilience, allowing them to bounce back from difficult situations like stress or trauma. Conversely, unchecked negative emotions can lead to long-term emotional and physical health issues. Teaching children emotional regulation – by helping them understand, express, and manage their feelings – sets the foundation for better mental health. In addition, supportive environments, like consistent routines and nurturing relationships, are key in helping children develop healthy coping mechanisms. With these tools, children can navigate the ups and downs of life with greater ease and confidence.

The Impact of Emotions on Everyday Life

Emotions significantly affect how children navigate daily life, influencing everything from social interactions to learning and problem-solving. For children, especially those that are autistic or have ADHD, heightened emotional responses – such as anxiety, frustration, or sensory overwhelm – can make everyday tasks feel challenging. In fact, without proper emotional regulation, these intense feelings can lead to outbursts or emotional shutdowns, impacting the child’s ability to engage in activities like school, play, or family routines.

However developing emotional resilience and regulation skills helps children manage these feelings more effectively. Subsequently it improves their ability to handle stress, adapt to change, and enjoy positive interactions throughout the day. With this in mind here are some key strategies that support emotional well-being include:

  • Co-regulation: Providing calm, supportive guidance to help children learn to self-regulate over time.
  • Predictable routines: Establishing consistent schedules helps reduce uncertainty and create a sense of safety.
  • Problem-solving skills: Encouraging children to tackle challenges with creative thinking can reduce emotional overwhelm.

These practices empower children to approach daily life with more confidence and emotional stability.

Why Parents Are Looking for Natural Emotional Support

Many parents are seeking natural ways to support their children’s emotional well-being, often turning to gentle methods like essential oils. Although conventional treatments can be effective, there’s a growing interest in exploring natural options that align with holistic, eco-friendly lifestyles. Essential oils offer a soothing and non-invasive way to help manage emotions, providing families with practical tools to foster emotional balance at home.

The appeal of natural support lies in its ability to be used as part of a broader emotional toolkit. Key reasons parents are turning to these solutions include:

  • Holistic care: Essential oils support emotional well-being in a way that fits seamlessly into a natural, low-tox lifestyle.
  • Empowering solutions: Using natural tools like aromatherapy gives parents an active role in supporting their family’s emotional health.
  • A gentle approach: Many parents prefer to try natural methods first, offering emotional support without the concerns of side effects.

By using essential oils, parents can offer their children a gentle, effective form of emotional support that promotes balance and calm.

How Essential Oils Work with Emotions

The Science Behind Aromatherapy and the Brain

Aromatherapy works by directly influencing the brain’s limbic system, which controls emotions and memories. When we inhale essential oils, the scent is processed by the olfactory system, responsible for our sense of smell. The olfactory system connects to the limbic system, which explains why certain scents trigger emotional responses so quickly.

Each essential oil has a unique chemical profile that impacts emotions differently. For example:

  • Citrus oils, like Lemon, contain uplifting compounds such as limonene.
  • Floral oils, like Lavender, are rich in calming constituents, such as monoterpenes.

This connection between aromas and the brain helps explain why essential oils can influence mood and promote emotional balance.

Illustration titled "The Power of Aroma: Facts About Smell" by Totally Frank. A smiling cartoon brain lifts dumbbells, symbolizing the strength of scent. Surrounding it are four facts about smell: "Your nose can distinguish 10 trillion scents," "You smell with your brain not your nose," "Your scent cells renew every 30-60 days," and "Smell is the oldest, most powerful sense."

Essential Oils as a Natural Tool for Emotional Regulation

For children, especially those that are autistic, have ADHD, or simply have big emotions, managing strong emotions like anxiety or overwhelm can be challenging. Essential oils offer a gentle, non-invasive way to help them regulate their emotions naturally. Oils like Lavender, Frankincense, and Roman Chamomile are known for their soothing properties and can be particularly useful in moments of distress.

“One of the ways I’ve found essential oils helpful is through the doTERRA Kids Collection.”

My son uses these rollers, and we’ve created a set of cards showing different emotions and the corresponding oils he can use. For example, if he’s feeling anxious, we use Steady, and when he’s distracted, we turn to Thinker. This simple system has, as a result, empowered him to start managing his emotions with essential oils on his own.

One of the advantages of essential oils is their quick, safe, and at-home use. Parents can use oils by:

  • Diffusing them in the air.
  • Applying them topically with a carrier oil.
  • Using aromatherapy accessories, like inhalers or bracelets.

By making essential oils part of your daily routine, you can create a calming, supportive environment for your children and teach them how to use these natural tools to help regulate their emotions.

Essential Oils for Common Emotional Struggles in Neurodivergent Kids

Managing Anxiety with Essential Oils

For neurodivergent kids and those with big emotions, anxiety can feel overwhelming, leading to difficulties in focusing or interacting with others. Essential oils like Lavender, Vetiver, and Frankincense offer gentle, natural relief by helping children feel more grounded and calm during anxious moments.

How to use them:
  • Diffusion: Diffuse Lavender or Vetiver in your child’s room to create a calming atmosphere when anxiety hits.
  • Topical application: Apply diluted Frankincense to the wrists or back of the neck for quick relief during anxiety episodes.

TIP: If you’re using the dōTERRA Kids Collection, Steady is a great blend to help manage anxious feelings.

Supporting Focus and Calm

For neurodivergent children, especially those with ADHD, maintaining focus and staying calm can be a significant challenge. Essential oils like Vetiver, Peppermint, and Rosemary are known for their ability to sharpen mental clarity and enhance concentration, making them great tools for supporting focus. Oils like Cedarwood can also promote a sense of grounding, helping children feel more settled.

How to use them:
  • Diffusion: Diffuse Peppermint or Rosemary in study areas or play spaces to stimulate focus and mental alertness.
  • Topical application: Apply diluted Vetiver to the bottoms of the feet or wrists to improve concentration.
  • Inhalation: Inhale Supermint directly from the bottle when quick focus is needed – this is one of my favorite ways to stay sharp and alert as someone with ADHD. As an added bonus it smells amazing!!

TIP: For an easy, on-the-go option, Thinker from the dōTERRA Kids Collection is perfect for encouraging mental clarity in kids who get distracted easily.

Promoting Relaxation and Sleep

Bedtime can be particularly tough for neurodivergent kids, as nighttime anxiety often increases. Essential oils like Roman Chamomile and Bergamot help create a soothing atmosphere, making it easier for children to relax and settle into sleep.

For those of us with ADHD, our brain literally has 200 tabs open in our “web browser” at the same time – all competing for our attention. In our family we’ve found success applying Vetiver on our temples and the base of our neck before bed.

How to use them:
  • Bedtime diffusion: Diffuse Chamomile or Bergamot to create a calming bedtime routine that reduces nighttime stress.
  • Topical application: Apply Calmer from the dōTERRA Kids Collection to your child’s feet or back to ease restlessness before bed.

A consistent bedtime routine paired with essential oils can help promote deeper, more restful sleep for children who struggle with winding down.

Encouraging Emotional Release

Neurodivergent children often experience difficulty expressing big emotions, which can lead to frustration or emotional outbursts. Ask me how I know!! Essential oils like Ylang Ylang and Calmer encourage emotional release in a gentle, soothing way, helping kids balance these overwhelming feelings.

How to use them:

  • Aromatherapy playdough: Engage your child in sensory play using aromatherapy-infused playdough. This tactile activity combines the soothing effects of essential oils with the calming benefits of sensory engagement.
  • Bathtime: Add a few drops of Ylang Ylang or Rose to a warm bath to help your child relax and release pent-up emotions.
  • Journaling: Encourage your child to express their emotions through journaling while diffusing calming oils like Ylang Ylang or Calmer.

These practices, paired with essential oils, offer a safe, healthy outlet for emotional expression and support your child’s emotional well-being.

Want to try making your own aromatherapy playdough? Try my easy, kid-friendly aromatherapy playdough recipe and start incorporating essential oils into your sensory playtime!

Using Essential Oils Safely with Children

Dilution Guidelines for Safe Use with Kids

When using essential oils with children, it’s crucial to dilute them properly to ensure safety. The general guideline is to use age-appropriate dilution ratios to avoid skin irritation or adverse reactions. For older children and teens, a slightly higher concentration can be used, but always with care.

Here's alt text for the image: "Essential Oil Dilution Guide" by Totally Frank. A chart displays essential oil dilution ratios for various bottle sizes (5ml, 10ml, 15ml, and 30ml) and dilution percentages (0.5% to 10%). For example, a 1% dilution requires 1 drop for 5ml, 2 drops for 10ml, 3 drops for 15ml, and 6 drops for 30ml. An illustration of a roller bottle is on the left side of the chart.

For children under 6 years old, use a 0.5-1% dilution (1 drop of essential oil per 10 mL of carrier oil).
For children aged 6 to 12, use a 1-2% dilution (1-2 drops of essential oil per 5 mL of carrier oil).
For kids over 12, you can increase to a 3-5% dilution depending on their sensitivity (3-5 drops of essential oil per 5 mL of carrier oil).

Carrier oils like Fractionated Coconut Oil, Jojoba Oil, or Sweet Almond Oil help dilute essential oils and make them safe for topical application. Apply oils to areas like the bottoms of the feet, wrists, or back of the neck for optimal results.

The dōTERRA Kids Collection offers two options for safe use with children:

  • Ready-made “Touch” rollers come pre-diluted in a base of Fractionated Coconut Oil, making them convenient and easy to apply directly to the skin. These roll-ons are great for quick, on-the-go emotional support.
  • 5 mL undiluted oil blends. They can be used in diffusers to create a calming atmosphere or mixed with a carrier oil to create your own custom roller bottles. This flexibility allows parents to choose the best method of application depending on their child’s needs.

Aromatic vs. Topical Use

Both aromatic and topical applications can provide emotional support, but they work in slightly different ways.

Aromatic Use

Inhaling essential oils through a diffuser, personal inhaler, or even a few drops on a pillow can quickly influence emotions by stimulating the limbic system. Diffusing oils like Lavender or Roman Chamomile can create a calming environment, especially during moments of stress or before bedtime.

  • Pros: Fast-acting, great for creating a calm space.
  • Cons: Diffusing oils can affect everyone in the room, which may not be ideal for sensitive individuals.
Topical Use

Applying essential oils directly to the skin (diluted) targets specific areas and provides longer-lasting effects. Rollers, like the dōTERRA Kids Collection blends (e.g., Steady for anxiety or Thinker for focus), are convenient for quick application on-the-go.

  • Pros: Targeted relief and easy to carry.
  • Cons: Requires proper dilution, and some oils may irritate sensitive skin.

Precautions to Take

While essential oils are generally safe when used properly, there are a few precautions to keep in mind. Some oils, particularly citrus oils like Lemon and Wild Orange, are photosensitive and can cause skin irritation or sunburn if applied topically before sun exposure. Always wait 12-24 hours after applying photosensitive oils before exposing the skin to direct sunlight.

Additionally, be cautious with hot oils such as Oregano, Thyme, or Cinnamon, which can cause skin irritation or a burning sensation, especially in children. These oils should always be heavily diluted with a carrier oil before topical use, and patch-testing on a small area of skin is recommended.

Children have sensitive skin, so always patch-test new oils before regular use. Avoid using essential oils around the eyes, ears, or broken skin.

If your child is on medication, you may want to consult with a healthcare professional before incorporating essential oils into their routine. Although natural, essential oils may interact with some medications, so it’s best to seek medical advice to ensure safe use.

Creating Personalized Emotional Support Blends

Understanding Your Child’s Needs

Creating personalized essential oil blends for emotional support starts with understanding your child’s unique emotional needs. Every child, especially those that are neurodivergent or experience big emotions, responds differently to essential oils. When choosing oils, think about the specific emotions you’re addressing, such as anxiety, difficulty focusing, or trouble sleeping.

For example, if your child struggles with anxiety, calming oils like Lavender, Frankincense, or blends like Steady from the dōTERRA Kids Collection may be effective. If they have trouble focusing, oils like Vetiver, Rosemary, or Thinker can help improve concentration.

Observing how your child responds to different oils is key. Some children may find Lavender incredibly calming, while others might respond better to Roman Chamomile. So start small, observe, and adjust the blends based on what works best for your child’s unique responses.

Simple Recipes for Emotional Balance

Here are a few easy-to-make blends for common emotional struggles like anxiety, focus, and sleep:

Calming Anxiety Blend
  • 2 drops Lavender
  • 2 drops Frankincense
  • 1 drop Roman Chamomile

Use in a diffuser or create a roller by diluting in Fractionated Coconut Oil.

Focus and Clarity Blend
  • 3 drops Vetiver
  • 2 drops Peppermint
  • 1 drop Rosemary

Diffuse during homework time or make a roller for school use.

Sleep Support Blend
  • 3 drops Bergamot
  • 2 drops Roman Chamomile
  • 1 drop Lavender

Use in a bedtime diffuser or create a pillow spray by mixing with water and a splash of witch hazel.

Rollers can either be bought pre-made – like the blends from the dōTERRA Kids Collection, which are convenient for quick, on-the-go support – or made as DIY rollers. DIY rollers offer more flexibility if you want to create custom blends or use the same oils in a diffuser. If you prefer to have more control over the oils in the blend, purchasing undiluted bottles allows you to mix your own combinations for both topical and aromatic use.

Pre-made rollers are fast and easy, but if you’d like to explore different combinations, or also want to diffuse the oils, buying undiluted oils gives you the versatility to use them however you choose.

Incorporating Essential Oils into Your Family’s Routine

Making Aromatherapy Part of Your Child’s Daily Life

Incorporating essential oils into your family’s daily routine can provide steady emotional support and help create a calming, balanced environment. The dōTERRA Kids Collection offers a convenient way to introduce aromatherapy into various parts of the day, while single oils and blends give you the flexibility to create your own customized experience.

  • Morning Routine: Start the day with uplifting oils like Peppermint or Wild Orange to energize and set a positive tone. You can diffuse these oils during breakfast or apply a roller like Thinker from the dōTERRA Kids Collection to help your child focus on tasks ahead.
  • Homeschool Environment: Essential oils can be a powerful tool to enhance focus and emotional balance during school hours. Diffusing Vetiver or Rosemary can help your child stay alert and focused. Alternatively, applying Balance to the wrists before starting lessons can create a grounding effect that helps calm any feelings of overwhelm.
  • Bedtime Rituals: Incorporating calming oils like Lavender or Roman Chamomile into your child’s bedtime routine can ease the transition to sleep. Diffusing these oils in their room or using a pre-made Calmer roller from the dōTERRA Kids Collection can promote relaxation. You can also add a few drops of Ylang Ylang to an evening bath to help release pent-up feelings before bed.
  • Sensory Play: Additional ways to weave aromatherapy into daily life include using sensory tools like aromatherapy play dough, which combines tactile engagement with calming scents, or creating calming practices like deep breathing exercises while inhaling oils directly from the bottle.

Consistency Is Key

The effectiveness of essential oils often comes from consistent use. Building a routine that integrates essential oils at key times throughout the day – whether for focus during school, relaxation at bedtime, or emotional support during stressful moments – helps reinforce emotional regulation over time. By making essential oils a regular part of your family’s routine, you’ll help your child develop a natural toolkit for managing emotions, reducing anxiety, and promoting overall well-being.

Real Results from Other Families

Success Stories from Other Families

Whilst researching and writing this section I reached out to friends and the internet to gather some real life testimonials on how essential oils have made a real difference in managing their children’s big emotions. Here are a few examples:

“Lavender and Frankincense have been lifesavers. Before school drop-offs, I diffuse both, and my son is visibly calmer. It’s become a vital part of our morning routine.” Source.

“Peppermint oil helps with my child’s nausea when they’re anxious. A quick sniff, and they start to relax.” Source.

“A blend of grapefruit, ylang ylang, and eucalyptus worked wonders for uplifting and calming my child’s emotions.” Source.

In our case, my 12-year-old and I started using the dōTERRA Kids Collection pre-diluted rollers. As he’s grown more comfortable with the oils and seen their positive effects, he’s now excited to explore new oils and even create his own blends. Since we homeschool, we’ve incorporated this process into his learning plan, making it an educational and therapeutic experience. He’s autistic, has ADHD with a Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) profile, and severe anxiety, so finding tools that empower him has been incredibly beneficial for his emotional regulation.

Tips for Finding What Works Best

Tracking your child’s emotional responses to essential oils can be incredibly useful in finding what works best. Many parents have found that journaling helps them observe patterns and adjust oil use based on their child’s reactions. For example, keeping notes on which oils were used during meltdowns or anxious moments, and how your child responded, can reveal the most effective blends.

Use a simple journal or tracker to note:
  • Your child’s emotional state before using oils.
  • Which oils were used.
  • Your child’s response.
  • Any changes in mood or behavior.

Over time, this will help you pinpoint the oils that support your child’s unique emotional needs.

To help track your child’s emotional responses and find the most effective essential oils, I’ve created a custom essential oils and emotions tracker. It’s an easy-to-use tool that helps you observe patterns and adjust oils based on what works best for your family. Why not give it a try?

Essential Oils & Emotions Tracker worksheet featuring sections for recording the date, name, emotional state before using oils, oils used, other strategies employed, and observations on mood or behavior. The worksheet uses colored dots to distinguish each section, with space for written entries. Footer includes website link for support and advice: totallyfrank.com.au.

Essential Oils &
Emotions Tracker

  • Free Download
  • Print on Demand
  • Easy-to-Use
  • Observe Patterns
get your free tracker

FAQs About Using Essential Oils for Emotional Support

Can Essential Oils Replace Therapy or Medication?

Essential oils are a wonderful tool for supporting emotional well-being, but they shouldn’t replace therapy or prescribed medications. They work best as part of a holistic emotional toolkit. Think of essential oils as a complementary method for managing emotions – something that enhances the work you’re already doing with other treatments.

How Do I Know Which Oils Are Safe for My Child?

To ensure safety, always choose high-quality, therapeutic-grade oils, and in addition, follow age-appropriate dilution guidelines. For instance, dōTERRA’s Kids Collection is a great example of pre-diluted, child-safe options. Finally, always avoid using oils like Peppermint or Oregano without dilution, and consult a resource or professional for guidance.

Can Essential Oils Help with Specific Neurodivergent Behaviors?

Yes, certain oils can help manage behaviors like hyperactivity, sensory overload, and emotional meltdowns. Lavender, Vetiver, and Roman Chamomile are often calming, while oils like Cedarwood provide grounding support during overstimulating moments.

Conclusion: Supporting Kids with Big Emotions Naturally

Navigating the emotional ups and downs of family life, especially with neurodivergent children and those experiencing big emotions, can feel overwhelming. But essential oils offer a gentle, natural way to bring calm and balance into your child’s life. However by integrating these oils into daily routines, you can empower your child to manage their emotions more effectively. Whether it’s anxiety, focus, or relaxation, essential oils provide practical support.

Ready to explore how essential oils can help your family? Grab some oil samples and start your journey.

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