If you’re a parent wondering whether self-directed education can really work for your neurodivergent child, you’re not alone. I had the same doubts. Like many families, we started our homeschooling journey with a structured, curriculum-based approach, believing it was the only way to ensure our kids received a ‘proper’ education. But over time, I realised that this traditional approach often misses the mark for kids who experience the world differently.
The Struggle with Traditional Learning
When my younger son first started homeschooling, I felt the pressure to follow a structured, step-by-step curriculum. I worried that without it, he might miss critical academic skills or struggle to keep up with his peers. It felt like the ‘safe’ option – a way to mimic the traditional classroom at home, with neatly organised lesson plans, clear expectations, and a predictable path from one topic to the next.
But the reality was very different. Despite my best efforts to stick to the plan, our lessons often took unexpected turns. My younger son would get deeply interested in a side topic, ask questions that took us off the day’s agenda, or struggle to focus on the rigid structure I had set. He thrived when he could follow his curiosity, but quickly lost interest when I tried to steer him back to the ‘official’ lesson. It was exhausting for both of us, and I often felt like I was working against his natural way of learning.
An Unexpected Lesson on the Periodic Table
One of the most eye-opening moments came during what was meant to be a straightforward science lesson. My younger son was in Year 6, and we had just started an introduction to the periodic table – a topic I assumed would be completely new to him. I pulled out our acrylic Heritage Periodic Table of Elements, expecting a simple overview of the basics.
But within minutes, he was explaining the discovery of Nobelium (element 102) in surprising detail, including how scientists from Sweden, America, and Russia each claimed to have discovered or manufactured it first. This wasn’t just a passing mention – he had clearly absorbed this information from multiple sources, including The Chemical Elements Coloring and Activity Book. He went on to describe how Dmitri Mendeleev developed the modern periodic table, explaining its structure and the role of atomic numbers in defining elements.
This lesson quickly turned into a deep dive into atomic structure and the history of the periodic table, with my younger son leading the way. He was connecting concepts, exploring ideas, and even teaching me in the process – all driven by his natural curiosity and without the constraints of a rigid curriculum.
What I Learned About Letting Go
This moment was a turning point for me as a homeschooling parent. It became clear that my younger son wasn’t just absorbing facts; he was building a complex understanding of the subject on his own terms. This wasn’t about memorising names and numbers – it was about making connections, exploring ideas, and following his interests without fear of being ‘off-topic.’
It also reinforced something I’ve come to believe deeply: neurodivergent kids often learn in ways that traditional education struggles to capture. They might focus intensely on a single topic, absorb vast amounts of information from seemingly unrelated sources, or connect ideas in ways that are entirely their own. Trying to fit that into a standardised lesson plan feels like trying to put a square peg in a round hole.
Why Self-Directed Education Works
For our family, this experience confirmed that self-directed education isn’t just a theory – it’s a practical, empowering approach that can truly work for neurodivergent kids. It allows them to move at their own pace, dive deep into their interests, and develop a love of learning that’s often stifled in conventional classrooms.
Clinical psychologist Naomi Fisher’s work on self-directed learning has been a touchstone for me. Her insights helped me see that real, meaningful learning doesn’t have to be confined to textbooks and lesson plans. It can be an open-ended, student-led journey where kids are free to follow their interests and build confidence in their ability to learn.
Looking Ahead
Stepping back and letting my younger son take the lead hasn’t always been easy. It can feel chaotic at times, and I still catch myself worrying about gaps in his learning or whether he’s ‘keeping up’ with his peers. But I’ve come to see that this approach isn’t about ticking boxes or hitting arbitrary milestones. It’s about helping him develop the skills to think critically, follow his curiosity, and become a confident, self-motivated learner.
If you’re on the fence about self-directed education, I encourage you to give it a closer look. It’s a chance to rethink what learning can be, moving beyond the constraints of traditional systems to truly support your child’s growth and potential.
