Neurodivergent Parenting, From Lived Experience
Hello, I’m Sophie, the founder of Totally Frank. When I was diagnosed, everything finally made sense – the overwhelm, the masking, the burnout, and how deeply neurodivergent parenting had shaped every part of my life.
I’m a late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD mum, married to an autistic partner, raising two neurodivergent boys – one with highly complex needs. Neurodivergence isn’t something we “accommodate” in our home. It’s our culture, our nervous systems, our rhythms, and the way we live and learn together.
For years, our family lived inside school refusal, anxiety, shutdowns, emotional overwhelm, and chronic burnout. My boys needed support every moment of the day. My husband was navigating his own autistic burnout. And I was holding everything together until my own body couldn’t keep going – eventually being diagnosed with ADHD and uncontrolled Type 2 diabetes, the physical toll of years spent in survival mode.
But this isn’t a story about struggle. It’s a story about rebuilding – gently, honestly, and from the ground up.
A Moment of Truth
behind every late-diagnosed woman
is a little girl
who knew this world
was never made for her
but could never explain why.
– girl (remastered)
When I was diagnosed, everything finally made sense: the overwhelm, the masking, the burnout, the lifelong feeling of being “too much” and “not enough” at the same time. My late diagnosis wasn’t a shock – it was a homecoming.
And it reshaped the way I parent our neurodivergent boys, my approach to homeschooling neurodivergent children, and support ND families today.
The Truth No One Tells You About Neurodivergent Parenting
People can care deeply about neurodivergent kids and still have no idea what neurodivergent parenting feels like.
“I thought I understood my neurodivergent clients – but after becoming a neurodivergent parent, I realised I had no idea.”
It’s an isolating life.
A misunderstood life.
A life that often gets judged more than supported.
That’s why Totally Frank exists.
Because neurodivergent families don’t need more opinions – we need lived-experience guidance, softness, and safety.
Rebuilding Our Life Through Nervous System Work
When school stopped being possible and burnout consumed all of us, we didn’t “create a new plan.” We rebuilt a new way of living, slowly and gently:
This wasn’t a wellness experiment – it was survival. And over time, it became healing.
Why I Created Totally Frank
During our hardest seasons, I searched everywhere for support that was:
I couldn’t find it. So I built it.
Totally Frank is for parents who feel overwhelmed, misunderstood, or judged.
It’s for families navigating big emotions, sensory overload, complex needs, school refusal, burnout, and the deep emotional labour of ND parenting.
I don’t teach from theory. I teach from a life lived inside ND parenting. You’re not alone here. You’re welcome here. And you don’t have to figure this out by yourself anymore.
Embracing Radical Acceptance
At the centre of our healing was something we now live by:
Radical Acceptance
Letting go of the need to control, judge, or wish things were different than they are.
It doesn’t mean giving up. It means building safety – for our children and for ourselves.
Radical acceptance is what helped our boys’ nervous systems soften. It’s what made homeschooling possible. It’s what pulled us out of burnout.
And it’s what guides every tool, every workshop, and every resource at Totally Frank.
